Nope, I'm not going on again about Michael Jackson, I've moved on to more somber news. Billy Mays is dead. The man who turned "projecting" (a.k.a. yelling) and wildly flailing your arms about into a multi-million dollar empire of useless tchotchkes has suddenly and needlessly left our lives. Just when it seemed like he was on a meteoric rise into even greater stardom, he came hurtling down..dead...on the floor...for no obvious reason. Click the jump to watch Mays' recent appearance on Conan O'brien.
Air date 6/23/09
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Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Arr Eye Pee: Emm Jay
...and children everywhere breathed a great sigh of relief. Yes, that's right. You heard the news right, Michael Jackson is dead. Unlike when I first heard that Steve Irwin (the Croc Hunter) had died, I did NOT bust out laughing. Irwin's death was just ridiculous, the circumstances not the fact that he died. M.J.'s death was like karmic retribution, and although unexpected, not really that surprising. I had no idea he was going to die today, but like Hunter S. Thompson committing suicide, it wasn't that surprising. He was a mostly dead, walking plastic surgery zombie as it was (Jackson not Hunter).However, just for the sake of theorizing conspiracies, and so I can legitimately say "I told you so" when the time comes, I'm going to go ahead and call it now - He's not dead. I don't mean this in an Elvis is still alive and hanging out in a Nevada trailer park kind of way. He's going to pop up again in about 6 months, he'll face charges, people will be outraged...but he will have gotten out of his contractual obligation for those 50 some-odd performances he had no intention of doing at the O2 Arena.
In the event that Mr. Jackson really did croak, well I'm sorry for the pain his family is going through (the video of Jermaine giving the press conference was kinda hard to watch), but it's really about time he stopped being a menace to society, and I don't just mean pedophilia.
To show I'm not a completely heartless bastard, I was sad to hear that Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon had passed away. I'll actually miss them.
Friday, June 5, 2009
It's E3, Bitches! - Day 3 (Final Verdict)
E3 is finally over - the booths are packed up, the lights are off, and the glitz and glamour are dead for another year. Except for the two videos below, I didn't find anything new worth posting, but I do have a few parting thoughts about this years conference.
Darksiders: Wrath of War is a game in which play War, of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, that looks like a combination of God of War and Devil May Cry (though they cite Zelda as an influence, I don't see it). While I'm not convinced they put a whole lot of thought into the story (War seeks to redeem his integrity after being framed for wiping out humanity?) it looks like it could be fun.
I had seen a few Bioshock 2 videos with a short, looped reel of actual gameplay in the background, but this is the first good taste I've seen yet. Looks interesting, and I'm a shameless Bioshock fanboy, so I get hard at the sight of this stuff.
Final Verdict: I have to say, if I had actually wasted my time and money going to E3 2009 I think I would be incredibly pissed. More was announced in the weeks leading up to E3 than at any of the press conferences, and it didn't seem like a whole lot of those titles were shown off. There were way too many games whose only presence was a logo, a few screen shots, and a pre-rendered teaser trailer. I was glad to finally see Bioshock 2 in action, but even that was rather meager. I was incredibly disappointed that there was absolutely nothing about Thief 4, Deus Ex 3, or the next Hitman game. Though I suppose Sony came out on top of the conference with more solid titles announced, there wasn't any obvious game of show that I saw.
Both Sony and Microsoft are now obsessed with gimmick controllers, with Sony showing off their new EyeToy add-on, the motion sensing Wand, and Microsoft showing off their new camera based motion system, Natal. Sony probably pissed a lot of people off by announcing that the new PSP Go (which has no UMD drive at all, bringing up questions of the availability of the PSP's back-catalog) is going to be $250 but still only has one analog stick, no touch screen, and the screen is rumored to actually be slightly smaller than the PSP3000 which gives consumers very little incentive to upgrade. The biggest surprise, in my opinion, and the announcement that seemed to create the biggest geek uproar was that of Left 4 Dead 2, which was announced only 7 months after that of the first, which has a fair share of problems that gamers feel should be fixed, but the fact that Valve has yet to live up to the promise of downloadable content for L4D. Valve has tried to backpedal by assuring players of the existing L4D that after-launch content will still be released, but this leaves most people feeling a bit neglected and taken advantage of since it seems hard to believe that L4D 2 isn't stealing some of the fixes and content that was initially slated for L4D.
Overall it was a lackluster E3, the surprises were mostly negative, the omissions at the show were sorely missed, and god knows how much money was wasted on a show whose efficacy was pretty much obliterated by the press release extravaganza of the weeks preceding the show. Yay, E3 is back!
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Darksiders: Wrath of War is a game in which play War, of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, that looks like a combination of God of War and Devil May Cry (though they cite Zelda as an influence, I don't see it). While I'm not convinced they put a whole lot of thought into the story (War seeks to redeem his integrity after being framed for wiping out humanity?) it looks like it could be fun.
I had seen a few Bioshock 2 videos with a short, looped reel of actual gameplay in the background, but this is the first good taste I've seen yet. Looks interesting, and I'm a shameless Bioshock fanboy, so I get hard at the sight of this stuff.
Final Verdict: I have to say, if I had actually wasted my time and money going to E3 2009 I think I would be incredibly pissed. More was announced in the weeks leading up to E3 than at any of the press conferences, and it didn't seem like a whole lot of those titles were shown off. There were way too many games whose only presence was a logo, a few screen shots, and a pre-rendered teaser trailer. I was glad to finally see Bioshock 2 in action, but even that was rather meager. I was incredibly disappointed that there was absolutely nothing about Thief 4, Deus Ex 3, or the next Hitman game. Though I suppose Sony came out on top of the conference with more solid titles announced, there wasn't any obvious game of show that I saw.
Both Sony and Microsoft are now obsessed with gimmick controllers, with Sony showing off their new EyeToy add-on, the motion sensing Wand, and Microsoft showing off their new camera based motion system, Natal. Sony probably pissed a lot of people off by announcing that the new PSP Go (which has no UMD drive at all, bringing up questions of the availability of the PSP's back-catalog) is going to be $250 but still only has one analog stick, no touch screen, and the screen is rumored to actually be slightly smaller than the PSP3000 which gives consumers very little incentive to upgrade. The biggest surprise, in my opinion, and the announcement that seemed to create the biggest geek uproar was that of Left 4 Dead 2, which was announced only 7 months after that of the first, which has a fair share of problems that gamers feel should be fixed, but the fact that Valve has yet to live up to the promise of downloadable content for L4D. Valve has tried to backpedal by assuring players of the existing L4D that after-launch content will still be released, but this leaves most people feeling a bit neglected and taken advantage of since it seems hard to believe that L4D 2 isn't stealing some of the fixes and content that was initially slated for L4D.
Overall it was a lackluster E3, the surprises were mostly negative, the omissions at the show were sorely missed, and god knows how much money was wasted on a show whose efficacy was pretty much obliterated by the press release extravaganza of the weeks preceding the show. Yay, E3 is back!
...Continue Reading >>
Thursday, June 4, 2009
It's E3, Bitches! - Day 2
Day 2 of E3 is over and while there wasn't much new of interest announced (Kojima unveiled his 3rd Metal Gear game of the show, and a new Castlevania game that looks like a shameless God of War clone), there was a lot more hands on time with the games announced over the last several months. I'll refrain from commenting on my overall disappointment in the show until tomorrow, since there is one last day to redeem itself. Oh, and it seems I fucked up yesterdays post and only the intro went up. It's fixed, sadly a whole day later. So if you want to catch up on my picks for yesterday, please do.
As far as I'm concerned Tim Schaefer is a god. He's responsible for the Monkey Island games, Grim Fandango, Psychonauts, and now Brutal Legend - a Heavy Metal inspired comedy brawler starring Jack Black (who is NOT a god, in my opinion). Unfortunately you have to put up with the constant stuttering of that G4 douche Adam Sesler. Also of note, those Donkey Kong noises you hear in the background throughout the video is more than likely Steve Wiebe trying to break the Donkey Kong score record (WTF? You say? Go watch King of Kong, though take it all with a grain of salt)
I really enjoy sneaky-bastard games, and was a big fan of the first few Splinter Cell games. Unfortunately it seemed that as they progressed they got further and further from what I loved about them to the point that I didn't even bother to finish the last one. After seeing the heavily revamped SC: Conviction and a darker and more brutal Sam Fisher (no more Emo Sam) I am getting pretty excited about this one.
I've had a secret crush on the developer Quantic Dreams since the release of the flawed but brilliant Omikron. Despite the annoying quick-time events in Farhenheit (their 2nd game), I felt they were taking a step in the right direction with their quest to meld the dramatic story telling of a movie with the interactivity of today's video games. Now we finally get to see footage of their 3rd game, Heavy Rain, and it's starting to look like they've gotten it right. This is a pretty long interview/demo (19:00), but worth watching. Also, skip ahead to about 1:30 into the video cause they have technical difficulties they don't bother editing out (sloppy ass Gamespot).
And that's pretty much it. There were quite a few videos with the Alan Wake team, but they all showed the same few, mostly uninteresting seconds of gameplay. There were also interviews with Tell Tale Games about the recently announced Tales of Monkey Island episodic series (there's also going to be an XBLA/PSN re-release of The Secret of Monkey Island), but not much of interest was shown. I'm still hoping for something big tomorrow, or to see some footage of recently announced games that have yet to be seen at E3, but I'm not holding my breath. I'll do a wrap-up tomorrow regardless.
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As far as I'm concerned Tim Schaefer is a god. He's responsible for the Monkey Island games, Grim Fandango, Psychonauts, and now Brutal Legend - a Heavy Metal inspired comedy brawler starring Jack Black (who is NOT a god, in my opinion). Unfortunately you have to put up with the constant stuttering of that G4 douche Adam Sesler. Also of note, those Donkey Kong noises you hear in the background throughout the video is more than likely Steve Wiebe trying to break the Donkey Kong score record (WTF? You say? Go watch King of Kong, though take it all with a grain of salt)
I really enjoy sneaky-bastard games, and was a big fan of the first few Splinter Cell games. Unfortunately it seemed that as they progressed they got further and further from what I loved about them to the point that I didn't even bother to finish the last one. After seeing the heavily revamped SC: Conviction and a darker and more brutal Sam Fisher (no more Emo Sam) I am getting pretty excited about this one.
I've had a secret crush on the developer Quantic Dreams since the release of the flawed but brilliant Omikron. Despite the annoying quick-time events in Farhenheit (their 2nd game), I felt they were taking a step in the right direction with their quest to meld the dramatic story telling of a movie with the interactivity of today's video games. Now we finally get to see footage of their 3rd game, Heavy Rain, and it's starting to look like they've gotten it right. This is a pretty long interview/demo (19:00), but worth watching. Also, skip ahead to about 1:30 into the video cause they have technical difficulties they don't bother editing out (sloppy ass Gamespot).
And that's pretty much it. There were quite a few videos with the Alan Wake team, but they all showed the same few, mostly uninteresting seconds of gameplay. There were also interviews with Tell Tale Games about the recently announced Tales of Monkey Island episodic series (there's also going to be an XBLA/PSN re-release of The Secret of Monkey Island), but not much of interest was shown. I'm still hoping for something big tomorrow, or to see some footage of recently announced games that have yet to be seen at E3, but I'm not holding my breath. I'll do a wrap-up tomorrow regardless.
...Continue Reading >>
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
It's E3, Bitches! - Day 1
It's been 10 years since I actually attended an E3, back in the day when it was big, gaudy, and industry only. Back when you could restock your wardrobe and redecorate your nerdy bachelor pad with mountains of free swag. The expo was a lot of fun, but since I was reporting from the floor it was also a lot of work. There were lots of boring press conferences, closed-door meetings, and schmoozing with PR reps in hopes of making a lasting impression and getting favorable treatment during the next year. These days I'm mostly content with getting my fix from the work of others and staying comfortably at home watching the news roll in. In poring over the announcements and videos of the first day I've already got my favorites and thought I'd distill the fray down into a much more satisfying drink for you all. Here's my top picks from Day 1.
First off, let me explain a few things here. I don't give a shit about Halo. Yes, they announced Halo: Reach, but they also couldn't be bothered to show any more than a burning planet. I also refuse to get even half an erection for purely CG trailers. No gameplay, no interest. There were a few games that I was pretty interested to see (Crackdown 2, Alan Wake, and Modern Warfare 2) but there were only pre-rendered teasers videos with little actual gameplay shown, so I won't be wasting your time with those.
I'm one of those people who could overlook the repetitive nature of Assassins Creed and ended up enjoying it a great deal. As a result, I was pretty excited to see the following gameplay video from Assassins Creed 2.
Although the release is got a ways off (March 2010) one of the games I was most eager to see in action was God of War III. It's not revolutionary per se, but it does look like it will be a lot of fun.
Although my first gaming memories are from a few text adventures and a fuck ton of Sierra and Lucasarts adventure games, I also have a nostalgic weak spot for good old side-scrollers like the original Duke Nukems, Commander Keen, and the early days of the NES. As such, I was pretty psyched to see what looks like a very high-quality 3D side-scroller called Shadow Complex, which is to be released on XBOX Live.
This particular trailer, for the Star Wars: Old Republic MMO contradicts what I said about not going for CG trailers. It in no way represents what the game will be like, but it seems like this trailer alone is 10 times better than Episodes I-III combined, so I feel obligated to show it. It's definitely better choreographed.
As far as videos go, that's really it. A pretty disappointing showing so far. Microsoft spent a lot of time pushing the camera-recognition tech demo, Natal, by showing a presentation created by Lionhead and presented by Peter Molyneux, a man with terminal hype-diarrhea. Sony talked about a PSP Metal Gear as well as a multi-platform MGS game in which you play as Rayden (ugh). Crackdown 2 was announced, Alan Wake was shown off, but the trailer had very substance, and Modern Warfare was shown in a rather long gameplay demo that was unbelievably boring. Rockstar announced Agent, a PS3 exclusive in which they gave us absolutely no information about. Some Finaly Fantasy crap was shown (XIII, XIV: Online, and the DS game Crystal Bearers). Absolutely no one was surprised or impressed by the Super Mario Galaxy 2 announcement, though some super fanboys got their pants moist when Metroid: Other M (yeah, good title) was shown off, but the gameplay shown was pretty generic. And that's pretty much the major things I got out of my vicarious E3 attendance. Hopefully there will be some more goods coming out tomorrow.
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First off, let me explain a few things here. I don't give a shit about Halo. Yes, they announced Halo: Reach, but they also couldn't be bothered to show any more than a burning planet. I also refuse to get even half an erection for purely CG trailers. No gameplay, no interest. There were a few games that I was pretty interested to see (Crackdown 2, Alan Wake, and Modern Warfare 2) but there were only pre-rendered teasers videos with little actual gameplay shown, so I won't be wasting your time with those.
I'm one of those people who could overlook the repetitive nature of Assassins Creed and ended up enjoying it a great deal. As a result, I was pretty excited to see the following gameplay video from Assassins Creed 2.
Although the release is got a ways off (March 2010) one of the games I was most eager to see in action was God of War III. It's not revolutionary per se, but it does look like it will be a lot of fun.
Although my first gaming memories are from a few text adventures and a fuck ton of Sierra and Lucasarts adventure games, I also have a nostalgic weak spot for good old side-scrollers like the original Duke Nukems, Commander Keen, and the early days of the NES. As such, I was pretty psyched to see what looks like a very high-quality 3D side-scroller called Shadow Complex, which is to be released on XBOX Live.
This particular trailer, for the Star Wars: Old Republic MMO contradicts what I said about not going for CG trailers. It in no way represents what the game will be like, but it seems like this trailer alone is 10 times better than Episodes I-III combined, so I feel obligated to show it. It's definitely better choreographed.
As far as videos go, that's really it. A pretty disappointing showing so far. Microsoft spent a lot of time pushing the camera-recognition tech demo, Natal, by showing a presentation created by Lionhead and presented by Peter Molyneux, a man with terminal hype-diarrhea. Sony talked about a PSP Metal Gear as well as a multi-platform MGS game in which you play as Rayden (ugh). Crackdown 2 was announced, Alan Wake was shown off, but the trailer had very substance, and Modern Warfare was shown in a rather long gameplay demo that was unbelievably boring. Rockstar announced Agent, a PS3 exclusive in which they gave us absolutely no information about. Some Finaly Fantasy crap was shown (XIII, XIV: Online, and the DS game Crystal Bearers). Absolutely no one was surprised or impressed by the Super Mario Galaxy 2 announcement, though some super fanboys got their pants moist when Metroid: Other M (yeah, good title) was shown off, but the gameplay shown was pretty generic. And that's pretty much the major things I got out of my vicarious E3 attendance. Hopefully there will be some more goods coming out tomorrow.
...Continue Reading >>
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