Rapid Review - Wanted: Weapons of Fate

If you were a fan of the movie Wanted, only ever so slightly based on the awesome short series of comics, and are thinking that Weapons of Fate is going to serve as a way to sate your thirst for more hot chicks, ridiculous action, and gritty story then let me give you an alternative - just read the comics. They're a million times better than the movie (which I didn't like), and a zillion times better than the game. The action is dry and trite, the story is a nonsensical stream of cliches and set changes, and the damn thing is less than 6 hours. That's right, you're being expected to shell out $60 for an absolute max of 6 hours. That's a cost-per-hour that's twice what you paid to watch the crappy movie. Unless you hate yourself and want to be ridiculed when your friends see that you've played a shit game then avoid Wanted: Weapons of Fate if at all possible. It's not even worth it as an achievement/trophy boost. A dismal 4/10. For specifics, hit the jump and read on.

I'm not a man who has read a lot of comics. I loved them when I was little, but once I learned to enjoy the written word of a great novel (and got distracted blowing up G.I. Joes) I ended up leaving them behind. Ever since college I have found myself being one of the odd ones that still doesn't read them much, only picking up the rare graphic novel or series if I'm all but forced. Someone all but forced me to read the Wanted mini-series by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones, and I thank them. Then someone forced me to watch the Wanted movie and I beat them to death with a 12-inch floppy dildo behind the theater (don't ask where I got the dildo). Sadly, I only have myself to blame for playing the game. Although equating to a complete ripoff, I must thank someone for only making me punish my brain for a little under 6 hours.

Weapons of Fate picks up a few hours after the events that took place in the movie and sets you off on an absurd revenge hunt for some mysterious French SWAT leader that leads you through betrayal on various completely uninspiring levels. Despite taking place after the movie, it seems dear Wesley Gibson has forgotten every goddamn thing he learned in the movie and you have to slowly regain the use of essential skills like curving bullets. It's about 1/4 of the way in before you even get that skill, which proves to be of very limited usefulness. One of the things touted in the game was it's Max Payne style use of bullet time, but your slow-mo abilities are exclusively tied to a retarded and faulty cover system, which limits it's use substantially.

The cover system (or gaining cover by whatever means necessary) in the game is both absolutely essential to survival, but also maddeningly flawed and poorly implemented. One of the first things you will notice is that while in cover mode, any time you aim your weapon you instantly lose your entire depth of field. For no apparent reason you become exceptionally near-sited and lose the ability to target or even hit enemies outside your limited focus. Once you get used to it, and sadly I did, you learn that Wesley doesn't seem to realize his own size or have any concept of space as he will often crouch behind objects that don't even come close to protecting him from fire. When you are behind something substantial enough to deflect a bullet or two, the camera ducks so fire behind you that you have to pop out into aiming mode to see anything...which completely defeats purpose of the cover system as you are immediately vulnerable again. I had initially discarded the cover system entirely because of it's faults until I unlocked the bullet-time ability, which required you to use cover to activate it, and was forced back into the system I had learned to do quite well without.

Once you do begin unlocking new talents, you should quickly learn that they completely unbalance the game. I, sadly, did not learn this as quick as I should. I squandered by abilities, thinking I should save them for a time in the level when I really needed them. It took me a while to realize you never really NEED them, except for a few bosses, and can use them wantonly. The game tries to balance the use of abilities by making each one cost "adrenaline", with advanced abilities costing more. Considering that you earn adrenaline "shots" for every bad guy you kill, double if you kill them in melee combat, you never feel that Resident Evil ammo squeeze, and can kill quickly and indiscriminately without repercussion.

As the story of Weapons of Fate progresses you are embroiled in a flashback story that revolves around Wesley's father, the previous master assassin Cross, and his mother Allyse, all in regards to the truth of Wesley's birth and the death of his parents. In these flashbacks you get to play as Cross, who is infinitely cooler than Wesley in the game, carries dual pistols from the get go, and doesn't run like he's got his dick in his hand at all times (which is exactly how Wesley runs). These levels not only feel more polished, but have a more cohesive story and the progression through the levels actually makes sense. Where as Wesley's levels have you making leaps and jumps to conclusions that are never quite explained and then drop you into levels where you're never quite sure why you're there and what you're supposed to be doing. The only real motivation for killing the bad guys is because they say so, and they happen to be shooting at you.

One thing that really surprised me about Wanted was how absolutely awful the game looks. It's not so much that the graphics are sub par, it's the fact that even though it looks like a beginning of the current generation game itd still has frame rate issues. The game chops and jerks its way from beginning to end. Add to this the fact that so much of the game is set at night and in dark settings (dark AND at night - nice) but the color pallet is so muted and the contrast so negligible that you could be killed by enemies never seen...not even by their muzzle flash. At this point games shouldn't both look like shit and run like shit. At least pick one or the other.

Final Verdict: While none of this is all that great, it would at least slide as a mediocre game if it weren't for the fact that it's only 6 fucking hours long...and I died a lot - especially during the last half with the stupid quick time events they threw in there just for the hell of it. Charging full price for this piece of shit, and not making it a PlayStation Network or Xbox Live Arcade title, is just pocket rape. At least with the Watchmen game they made it downloadable and episodic so that once you realized it sucks balls you weren't out a sizable chunk of change with nothing to show for it. In the end you have a game that is short and shit, two things I don't like in my games, which earns it a 4/10.

P.S. - Go buy the Wanted trade paperback - it's too awesome not to.