Weekly Reamer : 3/6/09

It's time again for the Reamer of the Week. It's been a pretty funny week. Funny if you don't watch the news and don't read the news paper and don't listen to new radio. Just stay away from the news, then it's funny. Ok, so some of the news is funny too. Like Jon Stewart bashing CNBC and Rick Santelli for being generally ignorant fuckheads. Or how about the woman who called 911 three times when she was told that McDonald's was out of McNuggets. But at least she's now embarrassed about her little hissy fit. And lets round out the fun in the news with a report of a man caught putting his cat in a bong (come on, you know you blew smoke in your pets face when you were in highschool). But none of those are the Reamer of the week. This week, keeping it on a light note, the Weekly Reamer is the new movie Watchmen.

When I saw the first trailer for Watchmen my eyes widened and made a Scooby-Doo noise. I had never read the graphic novel, I hadn't read 300 or Sin City when they came out either - I'm a bad geek, I know. I didn't know the detail and complexity of the story, but the trailer grabbed me by the balls because of it's beautiful visuals. After that I read the book, saw all the motion comics once they came out, and was salivating as I waited for the lights to dim and my brain to explode in the movies sheer awesomeness. By the time I left, all I felt was sleepy and not in the lobotomized-because-the-movie-blew-my-brains way. I was sleepy in that I-just-watched-the-extended-edition-of-Fellowship-of-the-Ring-and-just-want-to-see-the-real world-again kind of way. The movie is almost 3 hours long, is really pretty, but just doesn't do a damn thing I thought was worth seeing. Thus, it has earned a Metacritic score of 56/100 (at the time this was published), a Yahoo Score of C- (it's actually a B now, but I'm going to act like it hasn't changed for my own purposes). Oh yeah, and you have to watch Dr. Manhattan's penis a lot. It's big, it's blue, it's hard to ignore. If you really want to waste three hours, no money, and have a better time then try reading through the 300-some-odd reviews for Watchmen on Yahoo. Most peoples complaints with the movie have more to do with not understanding the premise and the big blue cock than the fact that it's a boring fucking movie that doesn't do a damn thing for 3 hours.

Reamer Value: Low 15.50 Reamers (The cost of ticket and a drink)
Big Blue Cock Value: High (but not hard)