Weekly Reamer : 3/20/09

Yep, it's that time again. Time to get reamed. If you ignore the fact that the stock market has been on the rise for the last two weeks (well, it kinda stumbled today), it's been a pretty depressing week. So it's yet another week where it seems like a bad idea to stay informed. You have to listen to report after report trying to shock people with revelations that the sub-prime market spurred on this It's-Not-Just-Good-It's-Great Recession. Even though just about everyone has known for...umm...a year? I mean they've only been pushing that at us from the beginning. But hey...SURPRISE! Meanwhile the all powerful Postal Service, with the omnipotence to tell us we WILL have a stamp with surf legend Duke Kahanamoku, isn't faring so well as it forces 3,000 to live like beach bums and will offer another 150,000 their own tiny not so golden parachute early retirement package. Hell, even hair isn't doing so hot. That's right..our hair is suffering. Or at least the people that butcher our hair. But hey, the new Camaro was unveiled, and that's gonna save the auto industry, right? I mean the V6 starts at only $22,995, the V8 $30,995 - yeah, not at that price.

However, the real winner (if you want to call it that) this week has no doubt been AIG. It's the little engine that never should, the belle of the bailout ball, and not just the whipping boy but the beat the unholy shit out of boy of all that's wrong with the economy today. And while things continue to spiral in the rest of the world, Americans can sleep safer, albeit broker and homlessier, knowing that the government is gonna kick and beat that dead horse until it's even deader.

Reamer Value: 12 Reamers. Yup..just 12. Cause they obviously don't give a shit and aren't the only ones being supreme cunts.