Breaking News: Twitter Hates Grammar

We interrupt your regularly scheduled internet for this late Breaking News. Sources close to Twitter have confirmed that use of proper grammar, spelling, and moderation with smileys is widely considered to be one of the top weaknesses of aspiring Twitter Whores. Embedded reporters in the Twitter scene have noted increasing aggression towards those who try to use proper English and have even been forced to become pseudo-twitspeakers for fear of their lives.

One user, who had initially been approached to be an example of the degradation of the use of proper English revealed that she abhorred the downfall of propriety and consented to an interview.

@ih8english it's been lyk a livin hell

@ih8english strunk n white wuld weep

@deadjournalist so why do it? why perpetuate the "atrocity"?

@ih8english i'm a blogger and i get all my traffic from twitter. if i became a grammar nazi i'd lose credibility

@deadjournalist you don't feel like you've sold out?

@ih8english of course I've sold out. but there's no money as an english lit major. teaching pays dick!

This undercover English major and lover of fine literature went on to talk about the stigma of being a proper grammatical writer, being called such names as "tweet twat", "grammar slammer", and "stupid poo poo head". Our source also talked about having to enter Twitter Protection and opening yet another pseudonym as a result of this interview. More news as it develops.